If you like your chocolate vintage, talk to the archeaologists at Cornell, U Penn, and UC Berkeley. They have found residue of chocolate in a large number of vessels dating from 1400 to 1100 BCE — much earlier than previously confirmed.

It turns out the earliest chocolate was a kahlua-like beverage containing not just chocolate but alcohol as well. That’s two psychoactive ingredients right there. I wonder if they also added some ipomoea, magic mushrooms, salvia divinorum, or the like. I know they were deadly serious about their rituals. But let’s face it, they were also way flipped-out cats.